Confessions from a Foodaholic

So it's been a few days since I've blogged. I broke my fast last Wednesday night so I could do the taste test Thursday night. I did, it was yum, I got sick. 'Nuff said about that!

Friday I made good choices. My husband even took me to my favorite restaurant, Olive Garden, and I only ate half my meal and boxed the rest for later. After that, I had a tall (IE small) decaf latte from Starbucks.

Saturday was pretty good, well until the football party at my sister's. I didn't do so bad, only one mountain dew, but I did splurge on spinach-artichoke dip and smores. Sunday was good again. I even juiced.

Lots of produce for our juice

Monday brought temptation. My sister came over around lunchtime and we were both wanting McDonalds. I know, gross, right? Well, since we were both too lazy to actually get in the car and drive there, I decided to make us a huge batch of juice instead. Score on the healthy choice! I made 48 ounces of juice and we split it. And since I've been wanting to get back to exercising, I did 46 minutes on the Wii Fit. Not the best workout, I know, but for now it's what I've got.

48 ounces of juice!

Then comes today. Again, my sister came around lunch time. Again, we craved McDonalds. But unlike yesterday, she was willing to drive the few miles to satisfy the hunger for Big Macs and fries. And since it was a bad choice anyways, I decided to wash it down with a mountain dew. Sure it tasted good. But almost immediately afterwards I regretted it. I just felt really gross, fat and stuffed. Not a great feeling. 

 I wasn't hungry at dinnertime and had already decided I was going to juice instead of eating the hot dog and mac & cheese the rest of the family was eating. I ended up being tempted by a Snickers Almond candy bar my sister was waving in my face. Ok, not technically waving it specfically, but she was showing me a full bag of candy. Over 200 calories just because of my lack of self control. Ugh! But I did exercise tonight for an hour! I had my "dinner" juice when I finally had time to sit down and relax. A spinach, carrot, apple, tomato cocktail was the juice of choice. I used a huge bunch of spinach leaves and fully expected it to taste nasty. Surprisingly it was pretty good. The apple gave it just enough sweetness to be halfway yummy, despite it's puke-green appearance.

All I want is to lose weight, feel better and get healthier. It was much easier to have self-control and will power on the fast. Knowing that I couldn't eat anything but juice and water helped me resist temptations and stay focused. Right now I don't know what my game plan is going to be, but something's gotta give. And I'm not ruling out the possibility of another juice fast.

Reflections of My Journey

Today is the first full day of breaking my fast. One of the reasons I had to plan to break my fast today was my commitment to participate in a taste test research group for a restaurant. I'm so looking forward to the yummy food I get to try tonight! I'm really hoping it involves chocolate.

This morning I woke feeling much the same, but not too hungry. I decided to start with half a serving of cream of wheat and about 1/3 of my normal glass of milk. I ate very slowly, taking the time to really savor each bite and really enjoy the flavor. While I was eating, I also reflected on my thoughts towards food. I thought about how it was going to be easier to resist the temptations that have plagued me for so long. I finished the last of my milk, brushed my teeth and headed for my bottle of water. It's 1pm now and I've had 40 oz. of water! 

It's time for lunch now and I'm hungry. I've actually felt hungry for a little bit now, but have been putting it off with water. I'm debating what to eat for lunch. Yes, the thought of having juice has crossed my mind. Along with the thought of a small glass of juice in addition to a "real" meal. I think I've settled on a spinach salad with chicken (leftover from the BBQ chicken I made the family the other night) with some extra veggies and some kind of non-fattening dressing. 

I'm definitely more aware of my thoughts towards what I eat or drink. I've thought about having a can of mountain dew this morning, but I chose water instead. One thing I learned from the "Made to Crave" podcast was to only splurge when you plan on it. So instead of stressing out and grabbing the dew or chocolate, I'll save those things for a time when I'm actually planning to have it. Then if the time comes and I don't feel like it, I'll save it for later and make a healthier choice. I think that being aware of my compulsive eating, I'll be able to control it much better. For instance, tonight I plan on eating some foods that I know won't be the best for me. I don't know exactly what I'm sampling, but I know it will be good and should involve dessert!

I'm off now to make lunch for the kiddos then to make my salad. Oh, and to find a recipe for a homemade olive oil based dressing.

Juice Fast: Day 5

I didn't get a chance to blog last night about the final day of my juice fast. I started the day pretty much the same as the days before. I did have a bit more lower back pain than the previous day. Not really much different to say. I had juice for breakfast and lunch. I did lay down for a few minutes in the afternoon, but was too restless to actually sleep.

I broke my fast for dinner. I made a yummy homemade soup in the crockpot for the rest of the family, planning to have a bowl of the broth for my meal. It was so delicious! I actually couldn't eat very much before I got full. 

I weighed in again last night to find that I gained 3.1 pounds back. Not sure where that came from! I also had a small bowl of the soup later in the evening. The pasta and veggies were such a nice change from the juice. 

I went to bed dreaming of the yummy breakfast I would have.

Another New Day

Breakfast

Could you eat all of the veggies and fruit in that picture for one meal? I didn't think so. That's where juicing comes in. With juicing, you can get all the vitamins, minerals and nutrients out of an over-sized portion of produce into a 20 oz. serving of juice. Another added benefit is that since it's in juice form, it's readily digestible. Those nutrients can go right to work without needing to wait for your digestion system to break the food down. This gives your system a much needed break. When I think about all the things I'm used to eating, I can only imagine the beating I've been giving my stomach, intestines and colon. The last 4-1/2 days have been a journey, a new experience. A time to focus on my body and its main needs. I've stood strong in the face of temptation knowing that I was doing a good thing for my body.

20 oz. juice for Breakfast

I woke up this morning feeling worse than before. First, I couldn't drag myself out of bed until 10am. I was achy, exhausted and definitely not feeling the burst of energy I've been waiting for. In the past I've had this sharp pain in my lower back/upper hip area that at times makes it difficult to get to a standing position. Well, that pain is back today. It seems that with each day of my juice fast, instead of improving, I'm getting worse. Maybe it's the lack of protein? I don't know. I can't really say I'm that surprised with my results, but I am happy that I tested the whole juice fast thing out. 

Tonight I will be breaking my fast. I've been contemplating that throughout the day and am not sure I feel about it. Yes, I'm thrilled at the thought of actually chewing something. Yes, I'm ready for some processed sugar. But I'm also scared of falling back into my old eating habits. I'm afraid the weight loss I've experienced is only temporarily. Another fear is that I'll go straight back to my emotional eating. So while I am excited to eat again, I am a bit apprehensive about my emotions and thought process. 

Lunch

Throughout this journey, I have learned a few things about myself. I do have the self control and will power to be in control of what I eat. I don't have to run to food every time I'm stressed or feel the need to be rewarded. I've also learned to be more aware of what my body needs versus what my brain wants. Every time my tummy growls or my brain says "need brownies!!" I don't have to give in. I can say no to myself. I don't have to, but I can. I feel empowered knowing that I'm stronger than I thought. Do I feel healthier? Physically, not at all. If I only went on how my body is feeling, I wouldn't be able to tell I've changed my eating habits at all. But knowing that I've cleaned out my system (trust me, I know.) and removed toxins from my body does make me feel healthier from the inside out. So even if I didn't get the results I expected and hoped for, I don't consider this 5 day experience a total waste. More later tonight when I've officially ended my fast.

 

Juice Fast: Day 4

And the day ends. I wanted to be in bed by 11 and here it is 30 minutes after that. So I'm going to try and blog quickly so I can head off to dreamland and let my body repair itself.

Today was difficult, but once it was over it didn't really seem that bad. I made a rocking juice this afternoon with 2 apples, 1 pear and 1/4 lemon. It made a great before dinner snack! I'm still not really feeling any different. I know that I'm doing a good thing for my body, I just can't feel it. 

And the best news is the Wii Fit says I'm down another 3.7 pounds! I'm kind of in shock over that since even eating right and exercising didn't drop any pounds for me before. I don't feel any lighter and I'm not convinced that it's not all water weight, but I'll take it for now. 

Tomorrow will be day 5 and I will be breaking my fast. Before I started this, I wasn't sure how long I would fast and I had forgotten that Thursday night I was committed to a taste test with a research company. $75 just to taste and give my opinion on yummy food? Yes, please! I want to break the fast properly and not shock my system so I'll be starting tomorrow night with some soup/broth. Thursday morning I will have a light breakfast and continue eating light throughout the day to prepare my digestive system for Thursday night.

Hunger pains are fewer and farther between. After dinner tonight I started feeling hungry again, but was able to drink some water and finally a cup of hot Tazo Calm tea and the growling subsided. It's been a huge thing for me to try and recognize my body truly needing nourishment.

I have more thoughts, but the bed is calling my name. Maybe tomorrow will be the day I jump out of bed with a tremendous, amazing burst of energy.

Starting Day 4

So I was really hoping that Day 4 would be the day I wake and feel the magical difference the power of juice was promised to make. Um, yah, not really. I woke up with neck and back pain. Nothing unusual, while I don't wake up this bad every day, it's an often occurrence. And I didn't feel any more rested than I ever do.

Day 4 Breakfast

I didn't really even feel hungry. I don't know if the lack of hunger was truly my body saying it doesn't want food or if it was my brain saying I can't possibly face another day of only juice. Either way, I forced another breakfast of juice. I had spinach, beet, ginger, celery, cucumber, carrot, tomato and apple. I managed to chug it down without vomiting like I was sure I would. Followed that up with water, water, and more water. It's after noon now and I'm having a cup of hot detox tea. I accidentally used 2 tsp. of agave today. Yes, by accident. I made myself detox tea and my sister chai tea. Hers was supposed to get 2 and mine only 1, but I forgot which one was which until I checked the tea bag and realized I had already put 2 tsp. in mine. Ooops. Maybe it was my subconscious saying it needs more sugar. 


As I sit here and slowly sip the tea that is supposedly helping my body flush away toxins and poisons, I'm realizing that it's going to be time for lunch soon. The thought of more juice makes me nauseous. I want chicken, or a hard-boiled egg, or even a good salad with both of those on top. Mmm...I'm salivating at just the thought of the prized chicken ceasar salad that I know I can't have. I'm mentally strong enough to know that I can deny myself the bad choices that I was making, but I just can't decide if I really want to. It's back to the whole "quality vs. quantity" thing. Like my husband said, is it really worth torturing yourself just to maybe add a few years to your life? Given my current view of life, no, I'm not sure it's worth it. Maybe I just want to be the person who enjoys life to the absolute fullest, isn't always in the best, best of health, can't fit into the skinny jeans she wore before birthing 4 sweet kids, but who ends up in the last days of life saying she wouldn't change a thing. Honestly, who lies on their death bed saying "I wish I had just eaten one more carrot" or "If I had just juiced a few more days..." I'm guessing nobody. 


So 3-1/2 days in and I'm still not sold on the whole juice fast thing. If I felt even a bit more energetic or had even the slightest bit of clarity of mind, then maybe I could believe. But alas, all the wonderful benefits of a juice fast have somehow passed me by.

Juice Fast: Day 3

Once again, I didn't take the time to blog last night. So today I'll play catch-up. 

Yesterday was another disappointment. I woke up feeling no different than usual. Tired, achy, my mind bogged down with the stress of unfinished tasks for the day. I wasn't as hungry as I have been. I did have one snack in between breakfast and lunch.

Around late afternoon I had to lay down and take a short nap. When I woke up, I felt faint and weak. After a quick shower, I still felt like I was going to pass out. I made a juice for dinner with lots of veggies. After finishing the juice, I didn't feel as faint or weak. I followed that up with plenty of water. 

I'm having trouble distinguishing between true signs of my body needing food and my desire to have food. And honestly, the thought of more juice is enough to take away any appetite I do have. That combined with the lack of any physical results has me very discouraged. The one and only difference I've noticed is that the Wii Fit last night says I have lost 5.1 pounds! I'm cautiously excited about the weight loss. I'm weighing at the same time each day, within an hour or so. I plan on weighing again tonight to see if my weight stays the same or goes up/down. 

Starting a new day....

Well, it's Monday. It's also day 3 of my juice fast. I woke up feeling the same as I do every other day. Honestly, my body doesn't feel any different than before I started the juice fast. I'm exhausted, achy and my mind is cluttered. My morning started slow with a late breakfast of juice. About two hours later I was hungry again. I had a snack of pear and lemon. That, combined with water, held me off for another hour and it was time for lunch.

Pear and Lemon juice

Lunch was a combo of veggies and apple. I also added spinach for the first time today. I admit, the spinach made it taste pretty yucky. I managed to drink the full 22 oz. and am following it up with plenty of water. I'm feeling pretty fatigued and needing a nap. I haven't been able to focus on homeschooling today so the kids have only got a minimum amount of work done. I'm discouraged about that since it seems I always start Monday this way. But I'm also trying to give myself a little leniency. I'm trying not to get discouraged, but so far that's all I've gotten from this experience.

Lunch juice

 

Juice Fast: Day 2

Day 2 was much like day 1 except the extreme hunger pains were gone. I was still hungry, but not nearly as often as the day before. I did have a headache all day which finally went away last night. I also had several moments of wondering again, why am I doing this!? But I am pressing on.

Towards the evening a wave of depression hit. No real reason, but I was in tears. Tim is a good support, although he's skeptical about the juice fast giving me any really great benefits. 

I ended the day with a glass of hot detox tea, with 1 tsp. of agave. The tea actually tastes half way decent so it was enjoyable. Perfect end to the day.

Juice Fast: Day 1

My meals for the next few days

With the start of the new year, I've been thinking about a new, healthier me. No, I'm not making crazy resolutions that I'll forget about before February rolls around. I'm talking lifestyle changes that will stick. I've been unhappy with my weight for a while now so I'll admit that's a big motivator for me. But I'd also like to get back to regular exercise since it's really so good for my mental state. 

My sister is a big believer in juicing and has tried to make me one too. I've toyed with the idea of a juice fast for awhile now, but never took the time to actually make it happen. Today was the first day of my juice fast and boy did it start out crazy. My sister was kind enough to let me borrow her juicer (pictured), but when I tried to make breakfast this morning it broke. I don't know what or how it really happened, I just know that mid carrot and celery it stopped spinning. Still determined to start this juice fast, I ran to the internet and found a similar style juicer at, my least favorite store, Wal-mart. So off I went, on an empty stomach, to purchase said juicer.

Breakfast

I did managed to get breakfast. At noon. The juice itself wasn't nearly as bad as I imagined it would be. I had a little bit of everything pictured: apple, tomato, carrots, celery, asparagus, beet, cucumber and ginger. It was naturally sweet and I was able to drink it no problem. The problem came 20 minutes later when I was starving. I ended up having more juice about 2 hours later. In between juicing, I'm drinking tons and tons of water. I juiced again later for a snack and again for dinner.


After ending a full day of fasting, I only have a few thoughts. First, the extreme hunger pains and feeling of deprivation are almost unbearable. Several times throughout the day I thought to myself, is this really worth it? Why am I doing this to my body? Can't I just please have something sugary to eat? But I held out and resisted any temptations. The other thing is that I'm finally ready to face my emotional eating. Inspired by a podcast featuring the author of "Made to Crave", I see that I've been using food as a reward system, stress reliever and mood enhancer. Instead of relying on God to give me peace when I'm stressed out, I turn to mountain dew or chocolate. Boy that sounds silly now that I've actually typed it out. So I'm ready to face this habit and kick it for good. 


I don't plan on becoming a raw food person or even a juice fast fanatic, I'd just like to be able to detox and build better eating habits. I'm also about 45 lbs. from my ideal weight. And I'm counting on the increased energy, less pain, all over better feeling benefits that I've been promised I will receive from juicing. I'm still skeptical, but we'll see.


Juicing is not cheap. I decided not to buy organic this time in case I decided it wasn't for me. That way I wouldn't be out even more money than I already am. The fruit & veggies I purchased cost $18.77 at Target. After just one day of juicing, I already need to stop at the fruit stand to replenish. 

To end the first successful day of my journey, I had a cup of hot Tazo Calm tea sweetened with just 1 tsp. agave nectar. I'm allowing myself 1 to 2 tsp. of agave per day so that I can have detox tea during the day and a relaxing tea at night. Agave is a low glycemic food, very low in calories and all natural so I don't think it will sabotage my entire fast if I have a small amount. 

I'm falling asleep so I'll wrap this up. My eyes are starting to throb and I'm wondering if it's the predicted headache that comes with flushing toxins out of my body. I'm prepared for tomorrow to be worse with headache, muscle pain and lethargy. But it's just one more day to a healthier me.